Asalam u Alaykum.
I'm a Shia at the moment but I am seriously considering leaving this religion. I was born in a average Shia family who are originally from Pakistan. As a child my father taught me the basics and by the time I was 9 I was praying 5 times a day. My mother on the other hand was much more cultural and has extreme Shia beliefs or now I can say the normal Shia beliefs. I remember as a child I once said "Ya Allah Madad" and my mum started laughing and said "Wahabis say that" My dad angrily turned around and said "Don't say that, we are Muslims." My mother was the one who would curse the Sahaba and Ummahat al-Mu'mineen while my father respected them. My father was often called a "Muqqasir" because he was closer to the Sunnah and Quran and was strongly against Tatbir and hardcore Matam (chest beating).
When I started high school I went to the local Shia Madrassa and thats when were told that we had to follow a scholar and I chose Ayatollah Khamenei. But I never fully committed to the pure Shia belief I was always against the concept of calling upon others besides Allah and the concept of Imams being greater than Prophets, it never made sense to me. Our Aqeedah comes from the Quran and the Quran does not discuss the 12 Imams, the prophets were given revelations and some were given Holy Books. The Imams did not get this.
I wanted to follow Ahlulbayt and obviously for that I went to the Shia Aalims and books, but the books and the lectures would often contradict each other. This confused me. I did not know which Shia scholar to trust as majority would engage in Taqqiya and sometimes they did not. Thats when I preferred Sunni scholars, I loved them, the lectures made sense and all was from the Quran, no Shirk. I loved the fact that they focused on Allah and helped others towards Allah.
I slowly became distant from the Shia Madhab. I tried my best convincing myself that not all are like that but the truth was becoming more clearer. The accusations against the Sahaba and the Ummahat al-Mu'mineen made me more distant, how can one accuse the wife of their Prophet of adultery? Subhanallah.
I watched many YouTube videos and saw the Shirk Shias were committing around the world and the Pagan practices they engaged in. I reflected a lot and thought to myself "Is this the Islam Prophet Muhammed bought?" Deep down for me the answer was clear. No it was not.
I decided to stick the Quran and Sunnah and of course with that my looks changed, the beard became longer, Thobe was on, and was above the ankles. I always got funny looks in different Shia Mosques, there was a time when a group of guys followed me around and were giving me big smiles and were laughing. Although keeping a Sunnah beard and wearing garments above the ankles can be proven from Shia sources. But the hatred they have for the Sunnis made them abandon those acts. Same with the Niqab. They discourage the sisters from proper Hijab and the brothers from following the Sunnah in looks. Thats when i realised that they are far from the Ahlulbayt.
I never fitted in with Shias, I was the odd one out. I felt lost whenever with them. Thats when i decided that i should stop lying to myself and accept the reality. I bought a few Salafi books and have been in love with them! So peaceful and spiritual, something i never felt while i was listening to Shia Aalims, whenever i listened to them I didn't feel right because they would either contradict the Quran or just base the beliefs on emotions.
Now I feel like my Aqeedah is almost on the Salafi path, but I need help with refuting Shia arguments when It comes to the Sahaba, especially the 3 caliphs. Whats the answer to Ghadir Khum and Saqifa? and the incident of the door? (Umar attacking Fatima) I'd like some light upon these matters and then by the will of Allah i would leave fully.