okay so gonna try to make this brief!Hopefully.so anyways, the thing is , I dont feel as motivated when i am reading quran verses, even the ones that are supposed to be motivating ,but i feel motivated by bible verses.and buddha quotes.Yes i have tried tafseer, butit doesnt exactly work.
So has anyone else felt this way.What can i do, is there a dua i should do because it makesme crazy, it really honestly does. even if shaytan is doing this, how can he do this while i am reciting the verses of the quran.Also here is something else.When i because i am motivated convert to either buddhism or christianity, then suddenly the things i would recite that would motivate me suddenly go away, like it wouldnt have that effect on me, and not only that but i would ouuside of islam,then get motivated by quran verses,
but i dont want this , i dont why i have to convert out of islam to all of a sudden be motivated by quran verses, and why it doesnt work when i am in it.Also why is God not helping me here.I mean for 6 years now,i have not been the pious muslim i should have been.I pray , etc, but there isnt anything there , i dont feel anything, like i am supposed to be following islam, and i cant even get out of islam, because i get a feeling i am not supposed to.and in fact dont go like other people that say whoops islam not mtivating me ,i am leaving it.I immediately panic and blame myself,i even get scared of leaving islam for christianity because i dont know where it would lead me, what happens if i sin like drink or havesex and not care i dont want that .even if its not allowed in the christian religion.
Whats going on with me, is this the work of a jinn? is this because i dont recite quran regularly even just the arabic? but i am tired of blaming myself.Why doesnt an imam a.s. come to me in the dream and tell me whats wrong?