sometimes feeling resentful towards God.Please help.

[sid]

first of all, i would like the ask the brothers and sisters to be more supportive and less critical.Please listen to my story.

Asalamualaikum.I am hoping that you could help with an issue i am facing.You see and this may sound impossible but for the past 2-3 years ,people have not been speaking to me properly, or they speak rudely ,weirdly and ludly.And this doesnt happen with some people, it happens with everyyybody, and this includes muslims and immigrants.They just treat me as if i am a weirdo, and its not because of the way i speak.You see living in canada, the trends had changed, so people wore trendy clothes, but i did not because of which people did not even walk properly besides me.I suffered for 2 years, until i had to give in and buy trendier looking clothes.However even when i did not wear trendy clothes and asked people how i looked, they said i looked fine, but they didnt speak properly.I noticed the immense difference in the way people treated me when i wore trendier clothes. And its not i  did not  neeed to change and just accept myself, i tried that, but it was i had to change because everybody disrespected me and spoke weirdly to me.This included doctors, cashiers,teachers ,students, people on the street, who used to literally not even walk properly besides me and distance themselves from me.It was horrible, you have no idea of how bad the situation was, but unfortuantely it didnt go away.Though things got much better, i still faced problems, this time i realised it was because of my weight.You see because of the horrible way people treated me earlier,i took to eating and then staying at home because i was afraid of going outside.then i gained weight, but i guess my legs looked i dont know maybe the food went to my legs, because the weirdness behaviour of people still consisted, until one day when due to stress and not eating ,my legs looked thin, then people treated me better.I am trying to go to the gym and excercise, but the truth is i have never had to excercise because my life depended on it, i mean its stressful going to the gym and trying to lose leg fat or facing people speaking weird the next day.Sometimes, i blame God, i thought He wouldgive me a miracle and dave me if i did amaals or prayed ,but nothing, i mean i get it im supposed to do the work , but i just its hard because its like i have never gone thru such a situation of people being rude because of my legs.I look at them and they dont fat, and no its not in my head.What do you think could be going on?I mean why did Allah put me through such a horrible thing that could make me lose my mind? i actually hate God sometimes because of this,can you imagine going out brother and no matter where you go or who you meet, muslim or other wise treat you badly? youd think you were dressing like a clown.But imagine even after dressing properly, people didnt speak to you properly because of what they way youre legs looked??Brother i hope you can help me understand.For a large part of my life i suffered making friends in school ,which made me sad, and then i went through religious issues, between sunni and shia, and that was bad enough, or i suffered thru health issues, or maybe family issues.I cant live like this, i dont know why Allah is doing this to me.I dont want it at all.i dont want to leave islam, but i dont how to stop these problems.i feel like Allah may have punished me for sins, and he punishing me so i dont do the sin, but sometimes it goes to an extent i cant handle and i actually start resenting God because i feel like this is not free will.Btw i am shia.If you could help me, or know some other scholar who can help me understand, id be grateful thank you.

[bint e aisha]

Dear sister,


I would strongly advise you to stop living to impress people. Just focus on what Allah thinks of you. Allah is our lord.. He is our Rab. Our main purpose of existence is to worship our Lord with love and obedience. And you know what he has said in Quran.. "Those who have Imaan are more intense in their love for Allah."


Just forget about people.. Forget what they think about you and focus on your spirituality. Try to build a strong relationship with Allah SWT. Also read the folllowing dua abundantly.


اللَّهُمَ ارْزُقْنِىْ حُبَّكَ وَ حُبَّ مَنْ يَّنْفَعَنِىْ حُبُّهُ عِنْدَكَ


Allahummar-zuqnee hubbaka wa hubba mayyan-fa'anee hubbuhu 'indaka


"O Allah! Grant me Your Love, and the love of that person whose love would benefit me in Your presence."

[bint e aisha]

Regarding what you said about leaving Islam.. Sister, Allah has given you this treasure of Imaan. Show him that you are grateful for it. He made you a Muslim because He loves you. Value and appreciate the gift of Islam and remian firm on Islam till death.



اللهم حبب إلينا الإيمان وزينه في قلوبنا، و كره إلينا الكفر و الفسوق و العصيان، و اجعلنا من الراشدين


Transliteration: Allahumma habbib ilayna al-imaan wa zayyinhu fee quloobina, wa karrih ilayna al kufr wa al-fusooq wa al-esyaaan, wajalna min al rashideen.

Translation: O Allah make Iman beloved to us and beautify it in our hearts, and make us hate Disbelief, immorality, and Sinning and Make us amongst those who are rightly guided.

[GreatChineseFall]

Wa alaykom salam, I probably can't help you that much, but I am curious to know. How exactly are people rude? Can you give an example? For example, you enter a shop and then what?

You: Hi, can a get a pack of gum, please?
Shop owner: ...

[sid]

Dear sister,


I would strongly advise you to stop living to impress people. Just focus on what Allah thinks of you. Allah is our lord.. He is our Rab. Our main purpose of existence is to worship our Lord with love and obedience. And you know what he has said in Quran.. "Those who have Imaan are more intense in their love for Allah."


Just forget about people.. Forget what they think about you and focus on your spirituality. Try to build a strong relationship with Allah SWT. Also read the folllowing dua abundantly.


اللَّهُمَ ارْزُقْنِىْ حُبَّكَ وَ حُبَّ مَنْ يَّنْفَعَنِىْ حُبُّهُ عِنْدَكَ


Allahummar-zuqnee hubbaka wa hubba mayyan-fa'anee hubbuhu 'indaka


"O Allah! Grant me Your Love, and the love of that person whose love would benefit me in Your presence."

Astaghfirullah who said i was trying to impress ppl.you need to read what i wrote more carefully.i am not living to impress ppl but avoid their rudeness towards me.

[sid]

Wa alaykom salam, I probably can't help you that much, but I am curious to know. How exactly are people rude? Can you give an example? For example, you enter a shop and then what?

You: Hi, can a get a pack of gum, please?
Shop owner: ...

Ok i say hi can i get a pack of gum.shop owner:in a weird or rude way would say what type but in a rude way umm this one i would say takes out gum carelessly slams on table.sometimes this used to happen before ,when i even ask a question i get ppl making this weird rude exaggerated i cant understand you face but i would be speaking perfectly fine

[bint e aisha]

Astaghfirullah who said i was trying to impress ppl.you need to read what i wrote more carefully.i am not living to impress ppl but avoid their rudeness towards me.

So you have dismissed the advice given to you? No problem.


Stay blessed.

[muslim720]

Salaam alaykum wa rahmatullah sister,

Your topics confuse me and at times, they make me worried.  I wish I knew some sister in Canada to have shadowed you; yes, I'd have begged her to spend an entire day with you to see if what you're saying is true or just your own insecurities being projected on misjudged scenarios.

Ok i say hi can i get a pack of gum.shop owner:in a weird or rude way would say what type but in a rude way umm this one i would say takes out gum carelessly slams on table.

Slam him for his rudeness and walk out.  I mean slam him; throw the gum right back at him, ask him to learn some manners - if not customer service - and leave.

[sid]

Salaam alaykum wa rahmatullah sister,

Your topics confuse me and at times, they make me worried.  I wish I knew some sister in Canada to have shadowed you; yes, I'd have begged her to spend an entire day with you to see if what you're saying is true or just your own insecurities being projected on misjudged scenarios.

Slam him for his rudeness and walk out.  I mean slam him; throw the gum right back at him, ask him to learn some manners - if not customer service - and leave.

brother its Alhumdulillah gone down the problem i mean,but it hasnt gone away completely. I just wish people would treat me properly at all times. I pray for this problem to dissapear forever and never come back. I hate it. You walk in to a classroom sit with ppl and they sit with you talk with you politely but qith me i feel like this lid thats always been left out. I never thought things would become as serious as this tho.i am glad Allah is helping me get rid of it.but i get afraid i really do.

[sid]

can the mods delete my post ?

[muslim720]

brother its Alhumdulillah gone down the problem i mean,but it hasnt gone away completely. I just wish people would treat me properly at all times. I pray for this problem to dissapear forever and never come back. I hate it. You walk in to a classroom sit with ppl and they sit with you talk with you politely but qith me i feel like this lid thats always been left out. I never thought things would become as serious as this tho.i am glad Allah is helping me get rid of it.but i get afraid i really do.

How about this?  Find a masjid - Shia or Sunni - of your choice and convenience and join the sisters' halaqa.  You will meet like-minded people in an environment where the objective is serving Allah (swt).

[sid]

How about this?  Find a masjid - Shia or Sunni - of your choice and convenience and join the sisters' halaqa.  You will meet like-minded people in an environment where the objective is serving Allah (swt).

JazakAllah brother i know, if its easy i would, and perhaps i will afterwards not now because i am busy , but its just , will it go away even if i visit a halaqa? as i mentioned earlier anybody just acts that way towards me muslims even, immigrants, its not a specific people.but i am trying to work on it, insha'Allah it will go away and never come back

[muslim720]

JazakAllah brother i know, if its easy i would, and perhaps i will afterwards not now because i am busy , but its just , will it go away even if i visit a halaqa?

Wa iyyak!  I understand that you're busy and we are not even sure if "it" (whatever this "it" is) will go away, but you owe it to yourself to try and find out.  You'll only know what is on the other side if you go for it.

as i mentioned earlier anybody just acts that way towards me muslims even, immigrants, its not a specific people.but i am trying to work on it, insha'Allah it will go away and never come back

Well, these are not your average Muslims.  Muslims have a heightened sense of piety in mosques though they ignore parking rules, wiping down the bathroom surfaces, etc, lol.  Therefore, I cannot imagine you receiving a cold treatment at a mosque.

[sid]

Wa iyyak!  I understand that you're busy and we are not even sure if "it" (whatever this "it" is) will go away, but you owe it to yourself to try and find out.  You'll only know what is on the other side if you go for it.

Well, these are not your average Muslims.  Muslims have a heightened sense of piety in mosques though they ignore parking rules, wiping down the bathroom surfaces, etc, lol.  Therefore, I cannot imagine you receiving a cold treatment at a mosque.

listen im going to get a zaicha made. i know what i am going thru is an abnormal issue, unexplained one.

[muslim720]

listen im going to get a zaicha made. i know what i am going thru is an abnormal issue, unexplained one.

 

What is zaicha and how will it help?  Abnormal issue or not, in another topic you mentioned that you went for ruqya and nothing was discovered.  Do you know that the first line of defense against jinn, etc, is belief?  Firm belief in Islam and Allah (swt).  I think, in all humility, your problem is low eemaan, with all due respect.

[sid]

Wa iyyak!  I understand that you're busy and we are not even sure if "it" (whatever this "it" is) will go away, but you owe it to yourself to try and find out.  You'll only know what is on the other side if you go for it.

Well, these are not your average Muslims.  Muslims have a heightened sense of piety in mosques though they ignore parking rules, wiping down the bathroom surfaces, etc, lol.  Therefore, I cannot imagine you receiving a cold treatment at a mosque.

ummm no thats not what these people are like.

[sid]

to tell you the honest truth, i have realised that people start treating me very normally when i lose weight in legs.I have legs that are perhaps bigger than other womens, so i dont know why but people start treating me weird.But when i suddenly have thinner legs either due to not eating or stress or going out more, BAM! people respect me.I find this very strange, because Allah created me the way that he did. I never criticised his creation of my legs, and i do workout and eat less, but its hard if you eat something and it goes to your legs, and then people dont respect you.I try asking Allah to give me thin legs or make this problem go away because it is real.However i dont know why this is all happening because of my legs.when i complain to Allah all i can think of is how he is helping me when i go to the gym and i lsoe weight. but now i am worried, my elgs are this way due to hereditary and i am afraid of gaining even the slightest weight cuz of fear that my legs and that makes me resent God in a way. I see others with thin legs, and i wonder why God gave me this stupid genetics of thick legs i am glad i can lose it if i have lower weight but if i gain some ,this would go to my legs, and i would suffer people speaking weird to me.What can i do?