Sought to prove I love you

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Sought to prove I love you
« on: May 17, 2022, 02:29:36 AM »
I sought to prove
That you are my highest love
Only to belittle your vision below vision of all others
Shamed least to your vision
More fearful of what others think
I've proven the opposite

I wanted to gamble
Enjoy a bit
Risk forever distance from You
Incur Your wrath
I can ask forgiveness later
So I deceived and oppressed myself thereby

Later maybe too late
Time of death is unknown
And this while
I never enjoyed anything more
Then hearing your words
Remembering you
And looking towards your chosen
Or hearing their words

When reciting or listening to your Recitation
The pleasure is beyond what I can appreciate
And me acting against it
Did not prevent you from increasing me in insights to it's glories

So how good you have been to me
And how evil I have been to you

Ingratitude to your favors
Laziness towards your call
Recklessness with your anger
Is the summary of my life

What can turn this around?
Is there a remedy to my disease?
I know for certain your call leads to paradise
And Satan's call to hell
Yet I follow his call
Neither blind to his mechanism
Nor unaware of his deception

Forgive me my Lord
Though due to my knowledge
I was most worthy of not being this oppressive to myself
With the wisdom you taught me
I was most worthy of not being reckless towards earning your wrath

Perhaps I've gone beyond repair
Perhaps nothing can heal my corrupted soul
But I can't afford to give up

Suppose I can bear the patience of pain of your wrath
Fires burning my renewing skin
Skin and organs that use to witness what I did
And would bear witness on the day of judgment against me
Of the dark deeds
My wicked soul shamelessly performed

Say I can bear all that, how can I bear patience
That I failed you and am now distanced from you forever?
That I failed to prove that I love you more then the evil inclinations
That I didn't put your pleasure and vision above the petty life pleasures that are not just below you
But pass away
Pleasures gone
Where as their consequences and pain remain

God save my soul
Save me from myself
I will destroy myself without your help
And the help of your book
And your chosen servants
Have mercy upon me and make me hold on to your rope
Thereby make me cling to you
For you are the light of the holy light
The light of Abraham
Of Isaac, Jacob and Joseph and the branches
Lord of Musa and Haroun
The glorious majestic fire of the blessed trees Mohammad and Ali
The brightness of Fatima Al-Zahra shining to the women of the world
Forgive me my Lord
I am nobody
Not worth anyone's time
I have no one but You
And if I lose you
What can I gain?
And who will accept me but You?
You who accept who the cities don't accept
You who bring close who your creatures reject
By the right of Hassan and Hussain
Forgive me
Forgive me by the Quran that calls to the Mahdi
And warns about the consequences of the world rejecting him
The disasters the cities will face
Like the people of Noah and other destroyed people

No I swear by the fact you have given me insight to the Mahdi in the Quran
Truly I will work to make him appear in safety
And that he be a favor and mercy to the world
And that humanity benefit by him
And you didn't give me all this knowledge so that you leave me to myself
To be defeated by Satan
No rather by the Mahdi who is the light and Guide of the time
Help me defeat the devils and sorcerers
And soothsayers and blind me to the world they call to
That's not worth anything if even if were not to perish and go away

You who is the best reward
And only what is directed towards you remains
Forgive me and help stabilize my feet
Make it stamped down
Fighting with your sword
And relieve me of the pains that have engulfed me
Annul the sorcery and falsehood
And let it never come back

Guide me this time
And don't let me swerve my heart
After you guided
Indeed you give freely
Without us earning your favors
You are the generous good Lord
The Righteous One
And I am your evil servant
In need of you
While you are not in need of me
« Last Edit: May 17, 2022, 02:37:08 AM by Soccer »
By the name of God, the (universally) Compassionate, The (extremely) Compassionate; for the unity of the Togetherness; Is their unity in the travels in the winter and summer. So let them Worship the Lord of this household. The one who fed them from hunger and gave them security from fear.


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