GreatChineseFall, when a post contains disrespect for the grandson of the Holy Prophet(saws), I'm no longer interested in anything else in that post other than defending his honour.
I'm also not motivated by argument for its own sake; I'm looking for progress and understanding. If I perceive no intention to move forward, then there's no response for me to offer.
In this post, you have asked a few interesting questions without any disrespect, so I'll respond according to my understanding:
- What is the benefit of being able to stipulate something that you can revoke anytime you wish? That's like you saying "I promise I will not punch you in the face until I punch you in the face"
- Why is it allowed to engage in mut'ah with a Kitabi woman but a permanent marriage with them being forbidden? What is the purpose of knowing each other in this case?
- Why is it allowed for a man who is married with 4 women (ie the max number of permanent wives one can have) to engage in mut'ah. Who is he supposed to get to know?
As to your first point, stipulating something as a common agreement is important regardless of the option to amend it later. It means the involved parties know exactly where they stand with one another, and it's a declaration of niyyah before Allah(swt).
Any part of the agreement to be amended would be done with mutual consent.
As to mut'ah with kitabi women, my understanding is that permanent marriage with them is possible but highly discouraged. It will usually be very problematic if Muslim children are brought up by Jewish or Christian mothers.
A temporary marriage serves the purpose of giving them time to learn about Islam and to embrace Islam before contracting permanent nikkah.
As to a man with 4 wives contracting mut'ah, this would be a highly unlikely scenario. It could be that his temporary wives need financial support and so, as is often the case with polygamy, the arrangement is more to their befit than to his.
He could also be away from home for many months or years and thus be contracting mut'ah to avoid the extremes of celibacy or sin.
Of course in all these cases, mut'ah could also be to fulfill sexual needs, which in itself is a legitimate aspect of mut'ah.
The whole attitude of portraying sexual needs as being inherently embarrassing and shameful is not derived from Islam, but instead reflects the Christian attitude.
Islam is very realistic about human nature and provides for our needs, rather than condemning them and closing us off.
The puritanical mentality which seeks to cast mut'ah in a bad light is the same mentality Western critics use when trying to undermine the Holy Prophet(saws) through his marriages, or when trying to undermine the Holy Qur'an through its descriptions of Jannah.
By turning away from the teachings of Ahl al Bayt(as) the Sunni world found itself with a gap in its social structure, and tried to fill that gap with misyar and 'urfi marriages.
Everything that's been (falsely) claimed about the overall social effects of mut'ah in Iranian and Iraqi society, could equally be claimed about misyar and 'urfi marriages in Morocco, Egypt, India and Pakistan.
Misuse of marriage can occur in misyar, 'urfi or mut'ah marriages just as it can occur in permanent nikkah. We don't derive our views on the validity of a teaching from those who misunderstand or misuse it.